Philip von Hahn, a 30-year-old tech investor from the Upper East Side, went to a Christmas party on Sunday night to forget about the end of his three-year relationship.
“We've been thinking about it for a few months,” Mr. von Hahn said of the choice to end things. He and his ex-girlfriend couldn't agree on who would visit whose family for Christmas, or even if they wanted to spend this time of year with each other again. This made things run more quickly.
Fall and winter have become affectionately known as “cuffing season” in recent years, when partners stay inside cuffed together during the cold months. However, these months can be difficult for new relationships and put a lot of stress on them.
A small mistake, like not getting your partner a thoughtful Christmas gift or not wanting to spend the holidays with their family, could be the reason they wanted to end the relationship. When people can use travel plans as a reason to be absent, ghosting seems like an easy choice. Time apart can make it hard to stay in touch, especially if the relationship is already unstable.
Mr. von Hahn said that he and his ex-girlfriend broke up because they both saw that the relationship wasn't going anywhere (like getting married). He said he felt good about the choice, even though he needed some time to get used to it. He was staying with a friend in Brooklyn after moving out of the apartment they shared.
He planned to go back to Toronto for Christmas to spend time with his family “and get better.” He was excited about the busy holiday plans that would keep him busy.
A lot of people think about the past year and want to start over, which can be a one-sided “new year, new me” wish.
Beth Booker, a pr professional from Naples, Florida, who is 33 years old, met her ex-boyfriend on Bumble in September and went on a date with him in November. Yesterday, he broke up with her.
She said on the phone on Monday, “It really stinks when you finally decide to jump and you feel safe enough to do it, but they can't catch you.”
He moved back to Pennsylvania in late fall. He agreed to try to make a long-distance relationship work, but changed his mind when they talked about their plans for the new year.
There are movies on Hallmark and Lifetime that try to make people think that the holidays are the most beautiful time of the year, but if you're single, they can be very lonely.
Tejah Larkin, 31, says that this is the time of year when many pairs decide to make things official. For people like her who are still dating casually, holiday parties and ugly Christmas sweater events can feel harder.
“At this point, there aren't many events for single people because most people have been dating since the summer and are now trying to lock it down,” said Ms. Larkin, who lives in East Orange, N.J. “The vast majority of people are inside with their loved ones.”
Ms. Larkin is seeing a man she grew up with again after getting back together in late October. They're still in the honeymoon phase, she said, and their main goal is to keep their friendship strong and see where it goes. He's going to Georgia to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with his family. During that time, she hopes they will stay in touch.
“This is the first time either of us has been communicating while not in the same place,” Ms. Larkin said. “Hopefully we keep up the same level of communication.” “This is a real test.”
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